I also enjoyed your free-ballin’ style this week. Or Free-wheeling. Whatever.

There’s a weatherman out here (So Cal) named Dallas Raines. He looks as ridiculous as his name.

Speaking of stupid products, apparently camel toe has become such a problem that we need products like these…

http://www.camelammo.com/
http://www.camelflage.com/

http://jezebel.com/5583255/watch-67-sensitive-men-shed-hollywood-tears?skyline=true&s=i

It sounds just like you, Ben!

Shae – I’m glad I’m not the only one!

My one bitch about From the Tongue is I’ve yet to find a picture that shows my piece. I’m starting to wonder if I imagined the whole thing.

Also, you guys say “tentacle rape” like it’s a bad thing.

Ooh, you linking to Craft Critique made me realize that I haven’t read any of my sister Kandi’s articles on there. *feels super guilty*

Great episode, the part with the babies on the floor was magic.

VSC – best. ringtone. EVER.

I’ve been working at a certain place since January and my supervisor still hasn’t really learned to say my name right. I don’t know if she just enjoys calling me Lisa instead of my first name (which starts with an L, but is not Lisa at all), and I’ve called her out on it several times, but she still hasn’t started calling me by my actual name.

Uncensored & Uncut.

Right away, I wanted to send them (or copies) to Bridget.

Please watch them B!

I’d share MY favorite scenes…..but would hate to spoil it in case you say yes.

Ben – So very, very awesome. You have a lovely voice!

And speaking of Mystery Science Theater, you know about Riff Trax, right? It’s the MST2K guys doing audio overlays for current movies

http://www.rifftrax.com/

This was an awesome episode by the by, if you hadn’t mentioned how long it was, I never would have noticed. Bridget, you should drink wine with every episode!

Glad you are liking the show, too. I’ll be sure to mention you on my regular show, since not everybody listens to the American Idol Updates.

Kisses,

David-That Blue Jeans Guy

RandomShitInCamelCaseBecauseWordPressIsADick.

Careful, sometimes it hurts.

Again again!

moo

I have a hard time believing that the cupcake mold for the oven makes a cupcake over 4 foot tall.

So really.

What is that?!!!

Truly bizarre.

He already gets facial tics when I put on Mary Poppins, so that should be really entertaining.

Also, the GIANT 3D CUPCAKE is the latest in a long line of Wilton’s abominations. Behold:

http://community.livejournal.com/retro_cookbooks/18315.html

http://community.livejournal.com/retro_cookbooks/10450.html

Bridget, Assclown. Awesomepants. I love your brain.

Ben, when you broke out singing about podcast monogamy I died a little.

Ben you need to get on the ball. I think I’ve watched all of South Park at least twice. *shakes head sadly*

If I were president I’d outlaw Truck Nutz. I can’t even think of a good reason for those to exist.

(I’m “dedicated to this bit,” but I can’t say I know where it went.)

When I got bored in class in grade school, I would put glue on my fingertips, let it dry, and peel it off as though it were shedding skin. I’d have a pile of them in my desk by the end of the day.

I had a little troop of 1″ diameter gum-marbles before I realized I was probably loosing my mind.

I threw all the gum out, and got some more friends.

Beat that, suckers.

I would outlaw whistling. Nothing else, just whistling. Okay, and I might require Joe the Biden to be in my oval office (if you know what I’m saying) several times a day.

I’m a true weirdo/outcast kind of gal, and so I have done so many weird things without noticing. One thing that was pointed out to me a few years ago was my strange habit of randomly going, “doot-doo-doo” after certain actions. Apparently I had been doing that for almost a year before someone asked me why I did it. And as soon as someone pointed it out, I stopped.

Apart from that:
I’d like to build on your legislative suggestions and broaden them. How about, if it can be proved that your commercial, or any other form of broadcast, lowered the “knowledge of the truth” of any individual or group of individuals, you are sentenced to complete 3 credits of higher education in a course that focuses on critical thinking or social studies, paid for at your own expense + community service.

That is all.

And you wonder why I won’t get on Skype with you.

3min Legs. It’s now too strenuous to squat down. We are no longer expected to lift our own body weight in order to exercise. I’ve just invented a product to shove a Twinkie in my mouth if my heard rate goes above 85bpm. I’m calling in Motivational Exercise Technology™. Give me your fucking money, now.

Here are the Star Trek dubovers…..and Happy in Paraguay was the one that had you crying.

http://www.thrillingwonderstories.com/2010/02/youtube-tuesday-apple-juice-final.html

http://www.hutaree.com/ezrafiles.htm

It’s also full of crazy…..be careful.

Steph – Bobsled made me snort.

Ben – I knew you would know. Also, the main thing with Flash Forward for me is the dialog. I’m not super picky about that kind of thing, either. For me to notice, it has to be like “No one in that situation would say that!” or a groan-worthy cliche. THERE HAVE BEEN MANY.

But, the gay chick totally shot like 8 guys that time when all the wussy guy-cops got blown to bits by, like, a black van full of cub scouts. That was awesome.

Crap.

Also, by my calculations, the show is 5.4% funnier with a guest appearance by a cat.

Bobsled.

Also – you’re welcome Bridget! It was fun to make it, and since I have your address I can stalk you!

I’m going to name my next D&D character Giorgio Moroder. He will most likely be really short and rotund and sound like Bill Brasky.

Also: That’s right, listeners who take time out of their lives to listen to goofy stuff that we say! LIVE WITH IT. Also: we love you. Don’t leave us.

Unfortunately, we had a lot of spam bots and people abusing the comments section, so we had to tighten up. Live with it.

Stephanie – It’s one of my favorites!

Jamie – Nice one! Shane’s bit about the newspaper slayed me.

Each of you hunt until you find each other!

Also, I have a head cold. Maybe in a couple weeks for nice little Skype visit? My schedule is flexible for the next few weeks so time zone stuff would be easy for me to work around.

Thanks for the shout out.

Jamie you’re adorable. Hearing your voice does the opposite to me of what it does to Shampoo.

Shae’s commentary on the shirt were effing awesome. Loved it.

1. I can do the eyebrow thing, too, Shane! But they look like totally different moods.

2. What the hell is wrong with a ginger beard?! Red’s the best color for hair.

3. I think I might be able to overcome my shyness and fear to come on the show if that were acceptable. (I’m actually blushing while typing this)

4. There were at least a few more, but hell if I remember.

Also, you guys are awesome. You’ve had a lot of really hilarious episodes in a short amount of time. Love it!

I used to have the same distaste for the Beatles, Shane. There will come a time to let it go. Take the chance when it comes. Or not. Whatever.

the HSR wiki is awesome. Heres the link to that ep.
http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/2_Part_Episode:_Part_2

OK. Dexter does stupid things to increase plot tension? Really? There has to be more than that. We need to talk.

I’ve also seen Clue in the theater with the same shadow cast that does Rocky.

Glad Shane is back in action. I was starting to wonder.. Mono sux Yours looks worse than mine was from a glance.

Yes I still listen I wish I had more time.

Shane: “Bridget and I share that philosophy. Ya know. Anything is funny.”

Approving noise from Bridget and Shawna

Shane: “And if it isn’t you’re a hypocrite.”

Shawna: “And you’re dead, you know, you’re dead. To yourself, to everyone else. If nothing is funny then you’re just this grey zombie-like-robot that I SHOOT WITH A PLANT!”
——
Shawna: “Maybe Mecha Godzilla shouldn’t babysit so much.”

Ben – My username was very nearly wagonfullapancakes. I’m glad I settled on beefranck, even if it is intentionally meat related.

I forgot to link that Strong Bad email:

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail117.html

My second favorite is “Crying” – for obvious reasons.

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail109.html

Also, this is more fun w/o pants:
http://store.girlskirtmission.com/-strse-89/Super-Clearance-Yoga-Pants/Detail.bok

OK, now I’ll briskly change the subject back to http://www.mynewpinkbutton.com/

What a goldmine of awesome that is. Thank you Holly!

I think Audry would be my color, if I was inclined to paint my privates. “… your own base color will determine the depth of this shade. Tonight its Show time!!”

You can friend the creator! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1079450182

I also leave an online gift, because sharing is caring:

http://www.mynewpinkbutton.com/

Shae – I thought they looked like dog treats, too!

Around the 1 minute mark of the tupperware commercial I swear the lady has pupperoni in there and takes one out to eat it.

Did I do that right?

“Trousies are PANTASTIC!” Use it in good health.

–Bay
(expert on Southern, but not necessarily Scottish stuff)

PS: Bridget, about the kids thing, we were married in April, and Adams Grandma just gave us a downpayment on ‘your first child’. We weren’t sure what to say.

PS I WILL SAY, I have totally owned a Record Player. It cost me 5 dollars at a yard sale. It looked like this. http://cgi.ebay.com/Retro-ELECTROHOME-APOLLO-BUBBLE-STEREO-TURNTABLE-Eames_W0QQitemZ150407316300QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVintage_Electronics_R2?hash=item2304f9834c

I had Abbey Road, Good for Your Soul, The White Album, Let it Be, and a ton of weird 45′s I found in the trash.

ALSO ALSO, I do NOT have wrist bands, and I’m 27. So nyah nyah nyah (see, I’m mature).

*marks TN with a push pin on giant world domination map*

@ Shae – I too mistake your name for Shane’s! Also, I <3 your emoticons… particularly the penis and balls…
; D
(o)(o)
he he… boobs…
and yes, I meant to do that one!
: P

XD
B=====D

Oh, oops, wasn’t supposed to let that last one out.

I pointed it out because I’d never seen Shane use it.

Also, if you guys don’t like my emoticons I’ll put them in this little emoticon suitcase and go.

Then throw her in the volcano.

And then where will we be?

Also, now I feel all powerful. EVERYTHING I SAY BECOMES REALITY!

http://sutrannu.tumblr.com/post/334824541/beefranck-this-comment-was-in-response-to-this

No more hamster talk, ham-talk — hold the hamster please.
Hamster, Hamster talk — I know now Sex means Money
Don’t talk to me about f__k, b__ch, c__t or c__k
No more hamster talk — hamster talk in my box

‘Cause I like to f__king swear like a f__king f__king f__k
And I like to f__king f__king f__k like a f__king f__king f__k
But don’t f__king f__k my f__king box with f__king words like “f__k.”
‘Cause I’ll f__king unsubscripe when I’m done writing “f__k.”

Hamster, Hamster talk — I’ll tell you how I feel
No more hamster talk for me – f__k you. New year, new deal
Hamster talk is what I hate, and when I hate a speak
Don’t need your hamster talk in my box any more, you freaks.

http://beefranck.tumblr.com/post/281629663/this-comment-was-in-response-to-this-relatively

It takes me awhile to warm up and I bet that I’d just be ready about the time the recording was coming to an end. Stupid, shyness.

The makeout sounds were so funny! XD

We have a super special secret guest lined up for next week! Let us know if you’d like to try it sometime. I know we’re intimidating and all, but we really are nice people!

Should I be personally insulted that there’s so much footie jammies bashing? Sure, none of mine have a built-pillows, but still.

Loved hearing another guest episode! I hope there will be more! I have a attraction/repulsion thing going for volunteering myself, and repulsion is winning out so you won’t have to find a way to decline w/o hurting my feelings. Whew!

Also, great ep! Sorry y’all are feeling crabby these days, hope that passes soon.

I was so sad that this one had to come to an end. It was so good!

Thanks for the nod, and the MST3K heads up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJWdgyjkqIc

Karen

Ditto on the ADT commercials, and really any commercial that has to make people look like complete morons to show the appeal of their product.

http://pics.livejournal.com/custardfairy/pic/001272we

Thanks for the Pukka Pies link! Made my day.

Love it so much.

Bay, I was thinking about that when I found out we lost the episode. It hurts!

I kind of think God did it to us on purpose. We told the worst/funniest story in Emergency Pants history. I told Shane he needed to edit it out. The cover art and apologies were about THAT story. It just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.

Jamie, I give you permission to use it as a ringtone if you promise to stop playing it back to me on Skype. I feel sorry for the people around you when your phone rings, though…

I think it’s the combination of incredible brain power and endless enthusiasm that makes Adam Savage so appealing, Rose. Although I wish he would lay off the fake accents. :/

Did you and Meeeeeeegan meet at Hardees, Ben? Is that why you both fit in so well at EP?

Oh yes. The laughing.

Also, Adam Savage kicks the booty.

And Shae. Too has Two oo’s. Shame. Shame. Shame.

I cannot believe that I was just “that guy.” *hangs head in shame*

Also – Bridget, I just followed you on google reader. I hope that doesn’t seem to stalkery or weird.

I have spent the last week downloading Jonathan Coulton songs. I had to resign my Geek Cred Card when I learned what I’ve been missing out on for so long. iTunes loves me. Loooooves me.

Hilarious.

This game makes me feel funny.

http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-play-Conkers/

Rose – I didn’t even try to do the accent because I always do it wrong, but it REALLY adds to it.

Bay – I just saw about Hector, and I’m so sorry. He looked like a really amazing cat. Also – Shampoo takes after her Mommy! *badumching*

Ben – Yes, sir, sucking it, sir. Seriously, though, THANK YOU! I could HEAR the word being said in my head, I could actually hear the voice actor from the movie, but I could not figure out where it was from! I kind of think of twitterpated in regard to twitter as not having anything funny/good/interesting to say. Like being constipated, but instead of getting uncomfortable and bloated, you just become preoccupied with how empty and meaningless your life is. I mean… I IMAGINE that’s what you would do… Um. Yeah.

How could there not be a mash up video relating that to twitter addiction?

Yes, I remember quotes from Bambi. Suck it.

Love this episode as much as any other! You guys rock. All the kitty talk is a little bittersweet for me today, but it still rocks.

Also, you guys are awesome.

*Dance, dance!*

You seeeeeeee?

So great.

I would say I have had a shameful nerd argument, but I am in no way ashamed of said arguments. I am a big giant nerd and that is what my life is. I’ve been to 3 harry potter symposiums and spent several hours listening to lectures, reading papers, and discussing in roundtables. I once spent an hour in a New Orleans restaurant talking about how Umbridge (the character I dress up as) was raped by centaurs in OotP (order of the phoenix). There is no shame in loving fandom. I am a giant nerdy dork and I am cool as heck.

And for the songs I turn up? Well I’m (almost) 22 – it seems my obligation as a young person is to keep the volume as loud as possible.

And of course, the one song I have to sing along to is, The Humpty Dance.

Keri – I dunno. It seems to me that everybody who tells me to watch it (my brother Jim, Jamie, etc.) self-identifies as a geek/nerd but isn’t really a geek/nerd.

Very good show.

I’m one of those sysadmins. The kind that sit around waiting for other sysadmins to do their job, so I can do mine. I need OUTLETS or things get…. unbearable. Usually, I write scripts. The geeky, computer kind, not the poetic, creative kind. Drawing. That’s fairly new, and, for whatever reason, drawing the crazy shit you guys say is hilariously entertaining. Thanks for the weekly inspiration.

I use open source tools, BTW. No photoshop. Mostly Inkscape, with some Gimp for some things. If you guys say something weird, I send myself a text, hence, I know that you said “permit 168″ I added the “a”, see, ’cause mine lets you park in the frickin’ lobby. Sweet!

Wow. That was nice and polite. Feels… weird.

Those cycles can become unstable with anthropogenic influences, ya know.

Birds gotta fly. Internets gotta make funny shit.

Ben: Aw, honey, don’t be that way! We kid cuz we love. And to be fair, I’m not really one to talk:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/beefranck/tags/ylnt/

Bridget, try Garnet Hill flannel sheets. Soooo decadent and they don’t shed after the first few use-wash cycles. Plus they have nice colors, not the usual dull pastels. I was so disappointed winter 2007-8 because it never got cold enough for me to use mine.

Speaking of finding stuff in one’s hair, I have a story. First, I have THICK hair. Thick, course, bendy and otherwise surly. When I went to the freshman formal when I got my hair done in an up-do (which was the only time I’d ever heard my hair stylist curse) there were over 30 hair pins in it. Took me 2 days of washing, drying, styling to find them all and get ‘em out of there. Yup. Lost sock? Probably somewhere in my hair.

I will no longer answer to anything but Baron Von Surlytrousers.

I’m pretty sure we talked about amenses at some point, but it must not have been while we were recording. It’s kind of hard to keep track of what we have talked about and what we need to talk about. Shane says I’m not allowed to apologize anymore for forgetting to talk about stuff during the podcast, though. So. Um. Suck it, I guess.

But I will ask you nicely to make a business card for BMT. I’ll even say pretty please. With a sugar-like substance of your choice on top. Please, Grumpy? I mean Crankypants. I mean Baron Von Surlytrousers. I mean Ben!

WTF! No mention of amenses? I was hoping you’d encourage a few more like http://www.flickr.com/photos/36662201@N02/3920143961/

With such an omission I may just, grumpily, refuse to make a business card for BMT esq. Right. That would take self control. Screw it.

And I’m really glad that creepy child molester-lookin’ carnie in the picture didn’t totally ruin Cheddarfish’s psychological well-being. Seriously creepy!

Now I’m wondering if I can make a book for a celebrity and get some cool attention, too…

Also: you get to taunt me for changing my tumblr set up an inordinate amount of times, I get to taunt you for noticing. That’s how it works. Ask the rest of the IT Guys.

Bridget mentions a baby.

Shane’s response:

“Yeah, a people kitten.”

RE: My frequent visits to beefranck.tumblr.com
I only checked your tumblr a few times! Srsly. Facebook notifies me every time my college roommate changes his profile photo. Why can tumblr have a style-in-flux update?

OK. What about eatfarts.com? Friggin’ brilliant.

Favorite Quotes of the episode:
“I don’t want to, necessarily, call it an addiction.”

RE: Cocks, Walking Cocks, and Cock Movers
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097839/plotsummary

P.S.: My wife’s name is pronounced with a long E.

Because Exploding Pants makes more sense? Yeah.

Haribo Pride!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Love,
Shane

In the event anyone would like to see his work…..I asked if I could post a link.

Thanks.

http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/allen-purkapile.html

*blink*

Great, now I CAN’T FUCKING UN-KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A SEX TABLE!

What the fuck is a sex table, anyway?

PLEASE DON’T ANSWER.

I’m going to go watch some cartoons now.

*shakes head* Boys. Sheesh.

Also, I have a sex table that I cannot hide.

The Old Man Yells at Cloud comes from The Old Man and the Key episode of The Simpsons. Grandpa Simpson is getting his driver’s license renewed and when they want to take his picture, he asks if they could just use this picture from the paper:

http://www.globalnerdy.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/grandpa_simpson_yelling_at_cloud.jpg

Random and absurd, two of my favorite things. the best part? He notices the same cloud outside the window of the DMV and shakes his fist at it again. SO GOOD!

Also, I am a nerd.

I {heart} you so much!

Now, what is this about an old man yelling at the clouds? I need a link.

Fabulous episode!!! And Bridget, I have to tell you — I have to get Amy to tell me all about a scary movie before I can go see it. I’m a weenie. Scary movies that are too scary give me nightmares!

I have to agree with the crowd this time. I was listening to the episode while I drove around at lunch, and I nearly hurt some pedestrians from laughing so hard.

Btw, I think the Tom Hanks we’re looking for is the one from Turner and Hooch. The part where the dog ate the car. I tried to find it on YouTube, but I couldn’t locate that clip. I swear, though, that when Shane says “No. Oh, nooo,” it’s a perfect Tom Hanks. Only better.

Can we show Tom Hanks the One Guy One Jar video and see what he says?

Rawr,
Amy

Bay – I was laughing so hard at that it actually made my head hurt. It never fails, I can’t NOT laugh at it. Jamie, Shane and Tony know this, and therefore it should come as no surprise when they receive the court documents regarding my attempted murder.

Rose – Ben’s message made me laugh. Also, I am going to describe things as “fuckin’ awesome” a lot more from now on.

Also, I can’t get the image of a little dog who was only kissed three times with a sad violin out of my head.

Also also, Ben’s little bit at the end rocks. Ben you are awesome. Nice cursing

-moo!

I’m going to go watch the dancing anthropomorphic slaughter beasts again.

Shane – you got to learn the names of that shit.
Bridget- why, so it comes when you call it?

Hahahah!

I also love Obsessed. As a former psych student, OCD is one of my favorite disorders. Is it just me, or is that one therapist John (who was helping the chronic picker), really lousy? Seems like his patients are always quitting.

The one man one jar segment was awesome, I almost died laughing.

Great show!

I was crying when I heard Shane’s reaction……tears……really.

The four of you together……magic.

Thanks for all the feedback everyone. You guys rock my socks.

PS: Tony, you are SO right, we need a whole episode with Bridgets mom. And YOU have to be on it too!

And finally, thank you for saying “cunt pickle.” I love that phrase!!! It makes no kind of sense whatsoever, but it is fabulously festive as far as filthy dirty phrases go.

Congratulations on a year of podcasting, and here’s to many more years to come!

Also,
Cunt Pickle.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sutrannu/3769554615

The reason my email address is xoshaebayxo is because I’ve had the same email address since 7th grade and just kept using the same thing for all sites.

Both 57 & 58 were hilarious episodes. I snorted at work several times it was so funny. XD

My condolences on your living with “my face.” I, too, experienced a well over a year of “my face” during 2007 – 2008. “My face” has mostly healed, with only the occasional flare-up in times immediately preceding stressful a moment. Good luck to you!

Warm regards,
Tara

(No, I haven’t been working out. I thought my butt looked HUGE in these pants. But thank you!)

Now I’ll have to actually work for that hour. Thanks for nothing.

Looking forward to the show tomorrow!

PPS: I realized recently that I have been saying ‘Nice!’ and ‘Seriously?’ a lot lately. I couldn’t figure out where I got those until I listened to the last podcast. You two are a bad influence on me! Bridget with the Seriously and Shane with the Nice.

Bad kitties! Bad!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etw5vknZEPw

Funeral song I’m thinking Another Dead Cow. Bat Boy the Musical is pure genius. Love it!

http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/batboy/anotherdeadcow.htm

It’s cheap on itunes. Can’t find a good version of it from the youtubes. Buy the whole album, it’s hysterical.

-moo!

Particularly the attack helicopter with dragon missiles part.

Chedderfish – That’s right, I forgot she’s a transplant! I always find that interesting, too. Ads aka Monsterosity is from Australia and living and working in Japan. Maybe Australians are more daring about moving away?

Bridget to go along with your interest in “people who live in different places” though, I’m always interested too in transplants like that- what made them move to an entirely different country? Love, work, just general interest? haha.

I think we all get what it’s like to throw your stuff out there. Bridget, Shane, I know you know what it feels like to have someone LOVE your stuff. I feel that way, and I like it. Lots. The idea of you stitching something for me is a bit too much. I don’t know if I could stop smiling at that point.

I’ll see what I can do about a voice mail. No promises. Baby steps.

Shae – I spent a long time looking for a decent picture of a bearded cross dresser to represent Jamie dressed as Baby, but I didn’t find anything I was happy with. So I just went with a picture of my favorite drag queen instead. I freaking love Hedda Lettuce.

May I suggest:
S*W*O*R*D
Shane:Worrier Of Rancid Dragons
or
S*P*A*W*N*O!
Shane:Podcasting Awesomeness With Nobs On!

From The artist formerly known as Mimi/Karen/Miki/Kimi
x;)

Doing Really Awesome Good Overshadows Nonexistent Slimy Lame Assholes You Execrate Regularly

Yeah, that’s all I got. Good idea overall, but kinda fail at this sort of thing.

Jamie, I had a feeling you were going to ask for that bit. Noted.

Also, I think you mixed up the story in episode 4. I think by “Shane” you meant “Tony**” and by “gay” you meant “straight.”

Also, I signed up for Skype just for you guys! You’re that special to me. I’ll be making a call as soon as I figure out my favorite story about you crazy kids. You guys can judge how Southern my accent is, so it’s a win win situation.

Shane – maybe THIS would’ve been the time to do both yours and Bridget’s voices? I think so.

I made you a special picture, just in honor of Shane’s awkward briefing.

Get it here (Ooh, that’s what she said)

GOD that guy’s a douche. I kinda feel bad for him. He probably spent all his money on that car, and has to live in it. The only clothes he has are his white jeans and half-mesh shirt.

Nessa: “Play” his “guitar,” huh? I gotcha. *wink*

See, podcasty! You can talk about it without getting all mushy, I know you can!

Or maybe just beating himself off…

Beefy going, “Why is there air?” made me chuckle hardcore.

No Pr0n for me. Just not into it. Weird right?

And PS: There needs to be a whole podcast dedicated to Red Dwarf, which I’m in the middle of rewatching, cause it’s FREAKING AWESOME. I know you mentioned it in passing, and it about made my day that you love it too.

Ned?

Ned Ryerson??!!

Yeah, I should have known better than to make that statement, I think.

Just want to add in that women do watch pr0n. A few times a year my group of friends get together to drink a lot and watch/make fun of/enjoy pr0n. It’s just what we do.

And by love I mean “am disgusted and amused at the same time.” Boys.

That being said, since it’s you, Rachel, I’d do it. I’d be embarrassed, but I’d do it.

Jamie – grab-ass has been a pretty consistent topic on the show, but the tags are mostly just for fun. If the shows were tagged accurately and we tagged each time you were mentioned, your name might take up the whole damn page.

sutrannu – As Shane, the younger of the two of us, would say: Those are filled with awesome and win. You ROCK.

Tara – That’s hilarious. Also, I love the brand name Slumberjack.

Loved that really bizarre Tony Video! Classic!

The Goatses freaked me out. But Shaebay is cool!

You guys rock my world.

moo

So, I’m in the backyard cleaning up some junk of my dead dad’s so I can finally list it on craigslist or put it in the July garage sale and decide that while doing so would be the perfect time to listen to the new episode. However, I’m expecting a phone call from some guy who’s going to buy a Slumberjack cot from me and want to make sure to get the call. No pockets, wearing earbuds. So as per my usual habit cell phone goes in bra and is set to vibrate. And vibrate it does, right when Shane’s going on about is swamp balls! Gave me quite a start! I may have let out a yip for Shane’s Sack.

(OK, really, the last line of that paragraph was a quote from the last play I did. Which was about marijuana. Irony? I think not.)

And the trailer was just done all weird, too, I think… We’ll discuss tonight.

Really.

Meh.

Ok I’m alright now.

I will totally make something for you if you want me to. It can be as risque or clean as you like. Just holla – that’s what the kids are saying now, right?

Rose – that sounds freaking delicious. I want some.

Yes, that bothers me, too – along with people sending the entire contents of their email message in the subject line, and people who don’t use punctuation.

Conversely, I find it absolutely hilarious when people read and treat the end of a line like a period. Good stuff.

That said, I only pass the tiniest of judgment on those that go in for all of that. Hopefully this is the case with those that receive my typo-laden missives, too.

I’m fond of pookas. Or maybe just the idea of them in general.

In other news, Shane’s growl is delicious! Thank you for that!

Dude.
What the hell. Is this for real?! SERIOUSLY?!

Tara – I would never let that happen. Believe in the power of Bridget. ^_^

Absolutely boggled.

But informed, so thank you.

*mutter mutter, fake onions, mutter mutter*

I’m so glad you asked those questions. Here’s info on hot dish – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotdish – it’s a Midwest thing, but it’s main origins are from Minnesota. It’s something I love making fun of, but if you get the right older lady making one for a church potluck, MAN can they be good!

The fake onions are these: http://www.frenchs.com/product_ffo.php and this is the only legitamate recipe for green bean casserole: http://www.frenchs.com/retailrecipeview.php?id=9818&recipe=FRENCH’S®-GREEN-BEAN-CASSEROLE

I hope this has helped you in your quest for knowledge.

Questions:

What is a ‘hot dish’?

And what are ‘fake onions’ on top of a green bean casserole?

I got nothing.

Bay – I was just trying to give Shane a hard time for not walking me to my car, really. My only concern with his gun ownership is the potential it has to harm him or someone he cares about in an accident or other circumstances. I liken it to worrying about a friend who rides a motorcycle or skydives. Although we never imagine it happening to us, accidents happen, no matter how careful and responsible we are. And I don’t think I could ever use a gun or a weapon, even if it was justified. Wow, was that too much of a response?

I wish I could be there to see it! Take pictures? I want to see what you do! Send links? And what about those cards you were thinking about doing?

I don’t think Shane’s going to mind your request for a growl.

Also, I listened to the entirety of Episode number 46. It’s not *Nearly* as bad as some of the eps that Amy and I produced using Skype. And it was brilliant! I laughed and laughed! I should have commented positively then, but I’m commenting positively now. Emergency Pants rocks! Even when it has technical difficulties!!!

I’m going to exhibit paper crafts at a street fair/ craft fair this weekend. How I wish Bridget would be here for it!

And finally: Make Shane growl every other podcast. It’s hypnotic!

We can talk about it tonight.

Tell me!

Also: You like us! You really like us! ^_^

Ok…you can laugh at me now.

I agree. I want to find out all the circumstances involved in that picture. Also, when I view it, my brain makes me think I smell poop.

Shane

oh, and I do THIS too )

PS: It’s so awesome to hear you guys! You make me happy. (implied smiley face)

You guys rock.

moo

Seriously, I can’t give up my abbreviations. I actually do LOL and ROFL with great frequency. And OMG? I say “Oh, my God,” all the time. When I’m not saying that, I’m saying, “Oh, mah gah,” which is the same thing, but prettied up for Baptists.

I admire your commitment to change, but I am old and crotchety, and I will take up the LOL banner and forge ahead into battle without ye!

OMG!

–Bay
(ROFL and disturbing the cat)

I’m easy.

I love the my first dictionary stuff. Ridiculously hilarious.

I have been a bad listener and commenter and I’m sorry about that. It’s crazytime in my little old house, but I ALWAYS make time for my Emergency Pants on Wednesday night. See, we have weekly dates and junk, I just never told you!

Shane – please freeze a cheeseburger and overnight it to me. Can’t stop drooling. Oh, and I love rats too – see, we’re perfect together!

Bridget – You officially went from my “pretend virtual bestie” to the most awesomest person this planet has ever known when you said it looked like I might work out – and thereby be strong. LOVING YOU A LOT TODAY.

Now that I’m 100% up to date with podcasts, I know that Bridget was made redundant… I’m a sad panda. Hope that you’ll be able to find something as soon as you’re ready for it… but not too much before, because, woo! Free time off!

And there’s a new piccy on my flickr that you guys will like.

Karen aka snarkypants

Thanks Emergency Pants!

But does this woman above really want us thinking about her ladyparts?

The only person I can imagine looking at those in a store and wanting them is maybe Shane.

You said poxaddled whore!

Now that I don’t work there anymore I can tell the most disgusting story ever told that involves Yellowjacket. Should be fun!

Gotta go listen to the rest of the ep… Just wanted to let you know I’m your biggest fan.

Also, glad you all enjoyed the episode. I hurt from laughing after we did this one.

Thanks so much for liking my neighbor video! I just want to point out that a) it’s a woman and b) she was out there again this evening (3rd time I’ve seen her) and she mixed it up a bit. I took another video, but I think one is just enough.

That’s how I roll.

Bridget, I don’t think you need more girlfriends. You just need more cocktails, that’s all! And of course, drinks for all the girls, too. No reason not to!

Do you think that if we keep commenting together we’ll end up on the same cycle?

You know, when you get too much of that kind of stuff, just start talking about your lady days. Not super graphic, but enough to make them squeamish. After awhile you can just say “don’t make me talk about my lady days!” They’ll shut right the fuck up.

Also, I regret my comments in the podcast. It was an outburst brought on by Shane using the phrase “she makes my pants tight” one too many times. And I was in the midst of my “lady days.” Please accept my apology, all men everywhere.

And I will say again…Didn’t need to have lemon party in my life.

My husband Jim has a snore that you would not believe. It works out, though, because while he can sleep through ANYTHING – loud parties, neighbors arguing, thunderstorms, earthquakes – all I have to do is say “stop snoring” and he instantly wakes up and rolls over. And starts snoring again in 20 minutes.

Other than her eccentric sneeze, she was a lovely person.

And I snore, so I won’t be spending the night with any of y’all! So there! Don’t invite me to your pajama parties; I’m taking my fluffy feather pillow to some scantily clad fete where snoring is embraced!

Rose: Shane TOTALLY said that when he met TV’s Frank at the 1995 MST3K Conventio-con-expo-fest-a-rama.

AND LOOK WHAT I FOUND, SHANE!
http://www.scribd.com/doc/7094/1994-MST3K-Conventioconexpofestarama-Program-Book

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=15377505

Even though she has a bloody stupid name.

I always like to make up drinking games. I never actually drink because I can’t handle booze – just ask Tony – but I love the game concept nonetheless. We’ll work on this when the show comes out and report back.

Oh, and the report was good too.

But the song! The song!!!

Oh, and I saw an ad for the Billy Mays show. Need gun, need it now. That or a lot of booze. Or both. That show does seem to scream “drinking game”, don’t you think?

Of course, I thought the vice presidential debates did too, so perhaps you could argue I have a drinking problem, but I digress.

1) Lisaici’s husband was studying to become a helicopter pilot until the school he was training at went under. He was very sad.

2) There was a time of my life when I would kicked ASS at dirty joke jeopardy. In jr high and high school I had damn near all of the Truly Tasteless Jokes series memorized.

To add to your dirty joke punchline collection: “No, dude, Chunks was my dog!”

Bridget, you said orifices! Hahaha!

I love the breaking news

Thanks, Tara, I’m glad to know I’m not the only one. And you’re right, it’s less the actual creature itself than the attention of several of them focused on you that is frightening. Or something.

WHY DO YOU TAUNT ME LIKE THIS, GOOGLE?

We’ll take it however you want to give it, people – here, the forums, emails, gift baskets – we’re not picky.

And I love it when a phrase like that comes into existence, Jamie. That’s why I stitch them.

That was number 382 in the series “phrases I never expected I’d say, EVER”

Yes, I do think it'll sell. The Internet has taught me that someone somewhere will buy anything.

Also, stop by the forums! Http://emergency-pants.net/forums

Oh, I feel so famous!!

That dildo took hours to make. Just FYI, it was never actually tested. However, considering the amount of hot glue covering it, I doubt the noodles would ever even get soggy.

Wonder if I should put that bad boy on etsy? Think it would sell?

Hah!

And now I’m picturing them using tiny hammers, saws, and screwdrivers, making them even more delightful in my mind. I would also like for them to wear little hard hats and miniature tool belts. Get to work on that for me? Kthxbai.