Emergency Pants

Episode 108: You can keep your blank in here!

We’re both kinda punchy and needy this week. I dunno what we talked about, except:

• Marshall is hilarious and awesome.
• Hi to Robyn Enz and our biggest lil’ fan, Alyssa

Download: Episode 108

Episode 98: We’re sorry and junk!

Oh my god, you guys! We have guests! KELLY AND JOE! Oh, and their kid. Steve. Sam. Shawn. SETH. ANYWAY. Tonight we discussed:

• Cheese Nips
• Balls
• Poop
• Steak
• Steak
• Small amount of peas
• Air conditioning
• Bridget’s Mom

Download: Episode 98

Episode 94: Oh my god, you guys! It’s Ben! No, seriously, here’s the real link.

• Hi to The Fey Driver of Pink Wheelnuts Podcast who gave us something interesting to discuss!
• Hi to RJ and Chris of the podcast A Cup of Fresh Hell Served with a Side of Heaven!
• Kombucha sounds gross. Ew.
• Mother Dough is NOT a band like Shane thought, but maybe it should be.
• Crying guy!
• A Mr X Stitch podcast is coming! Are you ready?
• Did you hear? We have a Facebook page! You can be our fan, if you want. Please? LOVE US!
• Oh, and we still have our awesome flickr group! Check it out if you haven’t!

Download: Episode 94

Episode 74: WE NEED MORE WATER ON THE FLOOR!

• Asking Bridget how it’s going is a risky proposition
• Don’t these women know that balls are hilarious?
• Thanks to Claire and her sweetie for pointing out Radio Fail
• Ben shared this link and now we have the munchies
• Pukka Pies have ridiculous advertising posters
• Kay Jewelers – the stalker’s choice
• We gab about Wendy’s for a bit. Indulge us, won’t you?

Download: Episode 74

• God smited us. Smited? Smote? Smote. Anyway, he totally smote us! TWICE!
• Lindsay is back! DAMN YOU, LINDSAY!!!!
• Rose made us aware of Personal Furnishings and THEN made us aware of this video! We love you, Rose.
• Shane invents the best furniture store in the history of time
• We say hi to Joe! Also, Joe’s wife!
• Shane’s favorite Family Guy moment, for your enjoyment, here.
• Ahahahahahaha, Pony Party! ^_^

Download: Episode 73

Episode 71: Balls.

• Shane has an excellent idea for a weight loss commercial
• Bridget had a job interview! I know, right?
• Shane has ideas about alternative ways to use the shakeweight, Bridget nearly dies laughing
• We love Fake AP Stylebook, and we bet you will, too!
• We love Mythbusters, and Bridget loves Adam Savage
• Bridget eating candy: doing it wrong
• Jamie was in an article! And there’s a video!

Download: Episode 71

More anniversary/birthday goodness, headed your way.

Can you believe we made it a whole YEAR? Tony, Shane, and Bridget read your emails, listen to your messages, and play some of your favorite bits from the podcast. Join us on this trip down memory lane, won’t you? Thank you!

Thanks to all of our listeners, you guys are all swell. Your hair looks terrific!

Special thanks to:
Keri, who is always on the podcast – IN OUR HEARTS.
Amy and Bay at Grits to Glitz
Nessa at Stars and Tartan
Jamie aka Mr X Stitch
Rosemoo
Jodi
Shaebay
Chedderfish
High School Laura and her husband DJ
Custardfairy
Tara
Ben

Download: Episode 58

It’s here! It’s here! The really big shew! So big, we’re breaking it down into manageable, bite-sized pieces.

Can you believe we made it a whole YEAR? Tony, Shane, and Bridget read your emails, listen to your messages, and play some of your favorite bits from the podcast. Join us on this trip down memory lane, won’t you? Thank you!

Thanks to all of our listeners, you guys are all awesome. And you SMELL fantastic!

Special thanks to:
Keri, who is always on the podcast – IN OUR HEARTS.
Amy and Bay at Grits to Glitz
Nessa at Stars and Tartan
Jamie aka Mr X Stitch
Rosemoo
Jodi
Shaebay
Chedderfish
High School Laura and her husband DJ
Custardfairy
Tara
Ben

Download: Episode 57

 Episode 49. It just IS.

• Bridget can’t get enough of Nerd Boyfriend
• Mmmmmm, balls!
• Watching people gardening and writing to Congress on Salvia is freaking hilarious
• Rose made Midwestern Greeting Cards a reality. We love you, Rose!
• We continue the discussion of the heartbreak of Hyperhidrosis of the Groin
• Hi Tara, Rachel and Will, Laura, and Jamie on the train!
• Julie: new listener and tweet stitcher
• Tony sent this awesome video
• Shaebay stitched Goatse. Don’t know what it is? Read about it here to decide if you want to follow this link!

Download: Episode 49!

Episode 48 deals with obsession, our awesome listeners, at-risk youth, and meatloaf. Lots and lots of meatloaf. Ok, not really that much meatloaf.

• Shane is the meatloaf king
• Panko!
• LOL-less update
• Shane growls for Bay and we say hi to Jodi and Rose
• Bridget and Shane were at-risk youth
• Tiptoes. It’s real. Check it out. Tell us what you think.
• Shane is obsessed with Obsessed.

Download: Episode Fo’ty-Eight

Episode 46, in which Shane and Bridget are recording in the same room! Bridget ran away from home and THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE OMAHA! Also – the mystery episode! What conversations were actually recorded? Hard to say. Here’s what we might have talked about:

• Toilet paper
• The most unintentionally hilarious thing Jim has ever said
• Bridget visits with high school Laura, her witty husband DJ.
• Buttercup and Dumpling are adorable birdies and also objects of torture
• Grits to Glitz. We just love em!
• Bridget’s Mom is stalking Friend of the Show Jamie. Sorry, Jamie!
• Shane gets an awesome present (cover art, anyone?) created by the lovely and talented (and durty, durty girl) Ruby42!

From Shane: This episode features some pretty embarassing audio glitches due to the way we recorded the podcast (with both of us in the same room).  That’s also why it’s late going up!  Thanks for being so patient!

Download: Episode 46

Episode 45 of Emergency Pants is filled, stuffed, and packed with all kinds of crazy crap. Then we tamped it down and added more.

• The unwashed man leaves nothing behind but the rank smell of balls 
• Our listeners rock, including Rachel, who took this picture, Penny, who sent Crying While Eating, and Kelley, who sent Cat Ladies and Laser Portraits.
• Bridget’s former bathroom nemesis is given a moniker – the Shameless Shitter.
• We are going LOL-less. Join us if you’re willing, call us out if we stray. We can DO this, people!
• Bitches get served in meetings and we revel in schadenfreude
• Bridget sings the “I told you so” song
• Effingboring gets stitchy!

Download: Episode 45

Epsiode 42 of Emergency Pants is the answer to life, the universe, and everything. And junk.

• Bridget is expendable! *sad trombone*
• Shane shares his experience being laid. Off.
• Bridget’s Lifetime Movie title: I Decide Who I Hug: Bridget’s Story
• Shane has great love and affection for old electronics. Weird!
• Bridget is an unwilling part in the greatest telemarketing training class scam in history
• Pitfall II, Shining Force, Ballz, and Toejam and Earl
• Why Bridget would never succeed as a sex line worker
• Hurrah for Sennheiser!
• Hurrah for Stars and Tartan saying strokeface, which Bridget can’t stop laughing at!

Download: What Is Six Times Seven?

Episode 31 is just FULL of stuff! AND junk!

• Euphemism contest entries – you guys are dirty, and we love it! Thanks to: Nessa, Kelley, Tony, Sid, Laura, Tina, Bay and Jamie!
• Shane’s new website!
• Bridget’s domestic success!
• Listener Sid posts a link that makes Bridget cry (in the good way)
• We finally say hi to Alissa! Hi, Alissa!
• Shane makes Kelley and Alissa uncomfortable, I’m sure. Sorry, ladies!
• Bridget is a katamari for IT guys!

Next week brings the exciting conclusion of the euphemism contest. Thanks to all who participated! Sorry you missed your chance? Do you keen and pull at your hair while wailing into the night: “Why, WHY didn’t I send in an entry? WHY???” That’s ok, baby – just email us by Saturday and it’s all good.

Download: Episode 31

It’s the second international edition of Emergency Pants! Bridget’s brother from a European mother and Friend of the Show Jamie joins us via the interwebs. Topics covered:

• Jamie’s past life as a wonder boner
• Tonight’s vocabulary word is felching
• Shane has 5 computers!!!
• HR secret codes
• Listener love! Thanks to Cheryl and iTunes 5 star reviewer!
• What if the grab-ass couple were hot?
• Jamie recites some touching urban poetry, reducing Bridget to tears

Check out this Snuggie parody brought to our attention by listener Cheryl!

Review us on iTunes – or not. It’s cool. We don’t want to pressure you, baby. We could just cuddle in our underwear.

Download: Episode 29