Emergency Pants

Episode 97: Oh die schone, oh die schone, oh die schone SCHNITZELBANK!

• Rose sent is this link all about funny signs
• This place makes funky chocolates
• Bascom Hogue is awesome, as is Alissa
• Golden Girls vs. Golden Shower Girls
• We miss you, Grits to Glitz!
• Kung Pow: Enter the Fist and What’s Up, Tiger Lily? are hilarious
• Purple Rose of Cairo turns Bridget into a dumb girl

Episode 97

Episode 90: OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS!!! TONY! EeeeeeeeeEEEEeeeee!!!!

• Hi Keri! Thanks for telling us about this name generator!
• What makes you poop?
• Three Minute Legs is a ridiculous piece of work-out equipment even though it SHOULD be the name of a gangster or a convenience food
• This Golden Girls spoof looks like fun!

Download: Episode THE NINETIETH!

Episode 76: Tony! Toni! Tone!

• MST3K is on hulu!
• Hoarders. Also: Poop.
• Tony has an awkward moment that is made better through sharing with us. Awwww!
• Listeners Penny Nickels and Johnny Murder are in this video!
• Joe is cross stitching us pressies, is he still a tough guy? Yes. Yes he is.
• Bridget gets another lovely mention on PNSexplosion AND Noah says she’s cool!
• This cat likes peanut butter
• Ask Shane anything
• Game time! Twitter Mad Lib!
• What the kids today think of Santa

Download: Episode 76

Episode 59 – PANTS PARTY! Everybody’s in this one! Shane, Bridget, Tony and Jamie hang out in their fuzzy feetie pajamas and talk about boys. A very specific part of boys.

• Jamie made today’s cover art! Thanks Jamie! Unrelated: visit Photoshop Disasters
• Holy crap there is a Snuggie for dogs
• Moo and oink – just watch.
• We love Emails from Crazy People and Things That Look Like Cock N Balls
• Tony and Shane are obsessed with Obsessed
• Tony makes a friend at the gym
• One man one jar – DON’T LOOK FOR IT!
• Both Bridget’s brothers listen to the podcast. Hi Rob and Jim! Don’t tell Mom!

Download: Episode 59

Episode 43 of Emergency Pants – a triumph of the human spirit!

• Beef stands are killing Chicago
• Bridget dicusses Tony’s visit in vivid and brutal detail – including a visit with the lovely and talented Patrick from PNSexplosion!
• Shane wants rats. Wait, what? Really? Okay!
• Lesbian porn embroidery caused a hub-bub over at Mr X Stitch and inspired NSFW Saturday!
• Sexy People! Go there! NOW! I mean, really! Look at THIS! And THIS!
• Amy and Bay from Grits to Glitz have a new blog called Not for a Million! Go there!
• Bridget finally shares the horror that is Yellowjacket. Sorry.
• Snarkypants is our new listener/stalker and is very funny!
• More bathroom shenanigans

Download: Episode 43

Episode 40 of Emergency Pants contains 50% more Tony**!

• A new razor commercial makes Shane feel all funny downstairs
• Women in panties provide distraction
• We love learning new things
• Bridget needs more girlfriends/has too many guy friends
• We’re all too approachable

Download: Episode 40

Epsiode 39 of Emergency Pants features our dear friend Tony** sharing a heart-wrenching tale of Chronic Poo-plosion situation, or CPS – one of our nation’s noisest and smelliest killers.

• Tony** shares stories from his family’s visit
• We discuss our newest fan, Rosemoo, whose lovely drawing is the cover art of this episode
• Friend of the Show Tara points us in the direction of this awesome home-made snuggie
• We started a flickr group to store these and other cool images – check it out!
• We politely say “No, thank you,” to snoring and sneezing

Download: Episode 39

Episode 36 of Emergency Pants finds our heroes, Shane and Bridget, joined by Tony**, master of urban dictionary and knock knock jokes.

• Rachel McKay, Reluctant Mullet Technician countdown – one week left, bitches!
• Close encounters with a blue wang
• Helicopters: super-cool or terrifying bringers of doom? You decide!
• Marshmallows: same question.
• Bridget’s fangirl chronicles: King Missile

Visit our forums! C’mon, baby, you know you want to get your forum on. Or just leave us a comment. That’s cool too! ^_^

Download: Episode 36

Episode 33 of Emergency Pants is filled with random goodness!

• We love PNSexplosion so much, we bought them dinner and sent them this.
• Funny fake names used in battle
• Ghosts and old people – connected?
• We share “We shall most certainly be chums” moments
• We’re just not comfortable being complimented. *squirm*
• New listener Tara! Hi Tara!

There’s going to be a giveaway at Jamie’s blog this week! The winner gets this piece of hand-crafted awesomeness. Head on over to MrXStitch and check it out! Or not. It’s cool, baby, we don’t want to pressure you. Oh, will you look at that? How did my hand get there? Oh well… should I just leave it there, baby?

Download: Episode 33

It’s the second international edition of Emergency Pants! Bridget’s brother from a European mother and Friend of the Show Jamie joins us via the interwebs. Topics covered:

• Jamie’s past life as a wonder boner
• Tonight’s vocabulary word is felching
• Shane has 5 computers!!!
• HR secret codes
• Listener love! Thanks to Cheryl and iTunes 5 star reviewer!
• What if the grab-ass couple were hot?
• Jamie recites some touching urban poetry, reducing Bridget to tears

Check out this Snuggie parody brought to our attention by listener Cheryl!

Review us on iTunes – or not. It’s cool. We don’t want to pressure you, baby. We could just cuddle in our underwear.

Download: Episode 29

Welcome to Episode 26, with 50% more Tony! (The picture above is not Tony)

In this episode we discuss:

• The joys of belligerant drunks
• The Transformers (the robots, not the electrical devices or sex acts)
• 80s cartoons
• Teacher rape (or the lack thereof)
• And more!

Also, shout outs to Kelley and Stars and Tartans!

Download NOW: Episode 26

Commit! Commit! Commit to be shit! Be! Shitgressive! B-E shitgressive!

So, Episode 12 is in the can (quite literally). It picks up where 11 left off, with the EP crew being joined again by Tony** to discuss matters of great importance. Tony also teaches us the game “Species or Sex Act?” which proves to be a great time.

Also, Bridget snorts in a meeting, and we discuss starting our cult.

Things discussed: Penis List, Ainsley

Download: Episode 12

Episode 008 features a guest, Tony**, a long-time friend of Bridget and Shane.  It is also our podcast’s filthiest episode by far, and our almost-longest (second only to episode 003′s silence contest, which clocked in just under 3 hours).

In this episode: We discuss Tony’s latest road trip.  Bridget reviews our current favorite commercial, Shane reveals his new favorite word, and Tony reveals his love for urbandictionary.com.  We also discuss loads of bodily functions, invent a new super-hero, and create a new Italian restaurant.  Also featured are annoying words and phrases.

** May or may not be his real name!

Direct download: 2 Cats 1 Foot