Emergency Pants

Episode 105: Hooooooooly SHIT!

• Wait, Wait – Don’t Tell Me is a fun podcast
• Obsessed with Obsessed
• Drunk Link
• Bridget’s internet is cuter than your internet.
• There’s two Shoedini commercials, with Gilbert Gottfried or without Gilbert Gottfried
• Bridget worked for The Swiss Colony once – not the Amana Colonies
• Check out Bad Movie Bingo
• Navy Pier is touristy. Have some fudge!

Download: Episode 105

Episode 102 has negatively effected our lives in the following ways:

• We say air hair lair to Clair and David
• We discuss Shane’s bed
• Shout out to RJ and Chris at Cup of Fresh Hell
• Shae is reading bad books
• Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows is awesome
• Bridget and the security guard at work
• Use the Bureau of Communication for all of your apology needs
• Ruby42‘s cross stitch is purchased by Kat Von D and we worry that it might need an intervention

Download: Episode 102

KAT VON D CALL ME!

Episode 79: It’s the Kelly and Joe show, with 100% more Kelly and Joe!

This episode was so much fun, I barely remember what we talked about! I do remember this, though:

Have you given up on living like a normal human being? Then go get a Dreamie. And a failure pile in a sadness bowl.

Download: Episode 79

Episode 69: Tonight’s episode was recorded at Schropshire Lodge, Near Wallingham, Blethington, West Hamptishiretinfinlinton, just past the three bagpipers, Scotland.

• Doctor’s waiting rooms often lead to hilarity
• Shane got a shake weight!
• I wouldn’t say no to a crepe, but what I REALLY need is a spanking.
• The Consumerist is required reading
• Jim is shirtless and smeared with peanut butter, but it’s not what you think!
• The Scottish Poet McTeagle – steroetypes are fun!
• And because it’s episode 69… here.

Download: Episode 69

Episode 55: Afternoon Delight!

• Shane makes Washington, D. C. a very lucky lady
• Warner Brothers cartoons. We miss them!
• Shane wants to abduct himself
• Look at these fucking hipsters.
• Penny Skatt rolls Bridget. Those guys need to put their shirts back on! And stop showing me your O face! Gross!
• Bridget is at peace with her unemployment
• Our cover art this week is from this t-shirt. Buy it when it’s back in print!

The really big shew is on it’s way, people – probably the last week of July. So we want to hear from YOU – Ben, Liz, John and Penny, Laura and DJ, Rachel and Will – and many more!

Download: Episode 55

Episode 46, in which Shane and Bridget are recording in the same room! Bridget ran away from home and THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE OMAHA! Also – the mystery episode! What conversations were actually recorded? Hard to say. Here’s what we might have talked about:

• Toilet paper
• The most unintentionally hilarious thing Jim has ever said
• Bridget visits with high school Laura, her witty husband DJ.
• Buttercup and Dumpling are adorable birdies and also objects of torture
• Grits to Glitz. We just love em!
• Bridget’s Mom is stalking Friend of the Show Jamie. Sorry, Jamie!
• Shane gets an awesome present (cover art, anyone?) created by the lovely and talented (and durty, durty girl) Ruby42!

From Shane: This episode features some pretty embarassing audio glitches due to the way we recorded the podcast (with both of us in the same room).  That’s also why it’s late going up!  Thanks for being so patient!

Download: Episode 46

Episode 38 of Emergency Pants, in which our heroes share their thoughts on manners with quiet dignity and grace.

• The best way to disable Shane
• Bridget’s bathroom horror – continued
• We say goodbye to some old friends – and by “friends” we mean “people we made fun of on the show”
• We decide who we hug, awkward or not
• Rachel’s amazing undertaking

Download: Episode 38

It’s the second international edition of Emergency Pants! Bridget’s brother from a European mother and Friend of the Show Jamie joins us via the interwebs. Topics covered:

• Jamie’s past life as a wonder boner
• Tonight’s vocabulary word is felching
• Shane has 5 computers!!!
• HR secret codes
• Listener love! Thanks to Cheryl and iTunes 5 star reviewer!
• What if the grab-ass couple were hot?
• Jamie recites some touching urban poetry, reducing Bridget to tears

Check out this Snuggie parody brought to our attention by listener Cheryl!

Review us on iTunes – or not. It’s cool. We don’t want to pressure you, baby. We could just cuddle in our underwear.

Download: Episode 29

Episode 28 – the episode so nice, we decided to record it TWICE!

Tonight we discuss:

• YogaToes, Easy Curves and Cheers To You – provided by official Emergency Pants Researchers Rachel and Keri.
• Dudes crying.
• Bridget twitters about her day, even if it might get her grounded.
• An update on the grab-ass couple - it’s really them! – especially for Kelley.
• Shane attempts a solo podcast.

Episode 27 features a rare glimpse into the minds of Bridget and Shane, only to come up with one thing:  They love farts.

They also cover the following: 

• Public Grabass
• Tiddy Bear competitor “Snadge Elephant”
• Reading Twitter in the Bathroom
• Broken Sound Equipment (Pisses Me Off!)

Episode 23 covers a lot of ground, so we’ll get right into the nitty gritty:

• Snow sucks – it’s confirmed and documented.
• Bridget’s mom is not the best CSR.
• The first recorded trans-atlantic junk-food swap.
• Mean Pharmacy Lady.
• Nobody has time for REO Speedwagon.
• Burnout.
• The worst joke in the world!

Download: Episode 23

Episode 22 takes us across the pond (via the interwebs) to talk with our special guest, MrXStitch!  We discuss the differences between British and American culture.  And by “culture” we mean “swear words.”

Also covered, conkers, and the ridiculousness that is snuggies.

Download: Episode 22 – Emergency Trousers

(Thanks to Mooosh for the inspiration for week’s title)

In this episode we cover ass cheese, comedy gold at McDonald’s, Heroes Suckfest, and REO Speedwagon.

Also covered: How’s It Made, and your uvula is showing, and Subversive Cross Stitch.

Shout outs: VSC, Mooosh, Ruby42, and of course, Beefranck.

Download Episode 15 here: Episode 15