Episode 106: Finger Milk
by Bridget on Jul.27, 2010, under podcasts
Episode 106: IT’S A KELLY AND JOE SHOW!
- Happy Birthday, Shane!
- Shane went to DC and met some of our awesome listeners
- We got the best email in the world
- Listener and kindred spirit Marshall took Furby pictures
- That fucking What Would You Do TV show
- Kelly recommends The Legend of Neil
- There was a lot of other stuff, but I was laughing too hard and I forgot it.
Download: Episode 106
Episode 102: FEELS LIKE WE’RE WALKING ON SUNSHINE!
by Bridget on Jun.22, 2010, under podcasts
Episode 102 has negatively effected our lives in the following ways:
- We say air hair lair to Clair and David
- We discuss Shane’s bed
- Shout out to RJ and Chris at Cup of Fresh Hell
- Shae is reading bad books
- Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows is awesome
- Bridget and the security guard at work
- Use the Bureau of Communication for all of your apology needs
- Ruby42‘s cross stitch is purchased by Kat Von D and we worry that it might need an intervention
Download: Episode 102
KAT VON D CALL ME!
Episode 100: IF You Know What I Mean. *wink*
by Bridget on Jun.08, 2010, under podcasts
Episode 100: Holy crap, it’s episode 100!!!
- Williard Scott is nuts
- Bill Kurtis is awesome!
- James Earl Jones has that voice when he does every day stuff, too, you know.
- Needs to be developed: Emergency Pants drinking game. Additional: Stitching N Junk drinking game. Discuss.
- America’s Next Top Bridget’s Mom is… *drum roll* RJ from Cup of Fresh Hell podcast! YAY!
- Lookin’ at Shane’s head.
- Dreams and the problems they cause
- Father Flanagan – kind of a douche.
- Bridget’s coming out
Download: Episode 100
Episode 87: Dong Bath
by Bridget on Mar.09, 2010, under podcasts
Episode 87: Good for what ails you!
- Bridget is slightly less of a hermit thanks to the wonderful Joe & Kelly!
- This Onion article kicked our asses
- This list of the 90 types of bitches is incomplete. Help us finish it, and add to it!
- Shane has started a new tumblr for aborted tumblr, twitter and facebook posts. Check it out or submit one yourself here!
- Bridget’s Dad makes a suggestion
- We love the unexplained! OoooooOOOOoooooOOOOOooooooh!
- Tara sent Bridget this awesome present for no good reason! What the heck? (thanks, Tara. ^_^ )
Download: Episode 87
Episode 84: A Very Special Episode
by Bridget on Feb.22, 2010, under podcasts
Episode 84: This week we discover that it’s not Lupus! Here’s some stuff we talked about:
- Shawna joined us! Hi, Shawna!
- Hoodie Footie. Yeah.
- Hipster Snuggie
- Homestarrunner!
- Tony caught this ad on the Emergency Pants site. Priceless!
Download: Episode 84
Episode 80: Pottycast
by Bridget on Jan.12, 2010, under podcasts
Episode 80: BEN! He draws stuff for us. He even makes us videos! And now he’s on the freaking show! And I’m abusing exclamation points as a result!
- What’s worse than the Dreamie? This thing. What’s worse than that? This thing.
- Go watch this commercial and report back!
- Thanks to Penny for telling us about the fucking weather!
- Thanks to Rose for telling us about Things I Want to Punch in the Face and Fuck You Penguin!
- Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy is hilarious, especially this sheep shearing bit
- Dolomite sings!
- Hamster Talk!
Download: Episode 80
Episode 79: Better Get a Bucket
by Bridget on Jan.05, 2010, under podcasts
Episode 79: It’s the Kelly and Joe show, with 100% more Kelly and Joe!
This episode was so much fun, I barely remember what we talked about! I do remember this, though:
Have you given up on living like a normal human being? Then go get a Dreamie. And a failure pile in a sadness bowl.
Download: Episode 79
No Pants tonight
by Bridget on Dec.22, 2009, under Blog
Hey there all you beautiful people out there in podcast land! Sadly, there will be no Pants tonight, as poor Shane has the dreaded lurgy. I know, right? Send him some love, snuggies, chicken soup, and Vicks Vapo-Rub! Also, it might help if you don’t wear pants for the rest of the day today and possibly tomorrow, just to show your support. Solidarity and junk, know what I mean?
Depending on how Mr. Tungsten is doing, we might try to record later this week. If not, we both want to say Happy Holidays, and we hope each and every one of you gets your stocking STUFFED.
Oh, and here’s a funny video that Amy sent us!
Oh, and if you have an iPhone, download Words With Friends and come and play with us!
Episode 77: Nice Slacks, Poindexter
by Bridget on Dec.15, 2009, under podcasts

Episode 77: Bing!
- We discuss the new sport Vengers
- We got that B Roll!
- Thanks to Rose for letting us know about the Necky – for when you’re too stupid to secure a scarf around your neck!
- Not all Japanese culture/anime revolves around tentacle porn, as jbox proves.
- From Japan: Hard Gay. Um, yeah. NSFW.
- Christian video game? Where do I sign?
- Today’s cover art came from Nerd Boyfriend, a site that Bridget loves tenderly and deeply.
Download: Episode 77
Episode 70: Stuff. And Things. Also, Junk.
by Bridget on Oct.20, 2009, under podcasts

Episode 70: You know. That one. With the thingie. And stuff. You KNOW.
- Shane has trombone legs after a strenuous workout at the gym. DAMN YOU, LINDSEY! *shakes fist at sky*
- Send us stuff with You Send It! Or don’t. It’s cool. We don’t want to pressure you, baby.
- Yay for DJ Yoda! Especially this!
- Yay for DJ Mike Relm too!
- Rose sent us a link to these Star Wars dog costumes. Discuss.
- Shane’s cat Maus is special like this cat except even more awesome!
Download: Episode 70
Episode 67: Jury Doodie
by Bridget on Sep.29, 2009, under podcasts

Episode 67: You like that, huh?
Bridget is fulfilling her responsibility as an American citizen by participating in the judicial process. And junk.
We love God Hates Protesters
Bridget loves Christopher Uminga. Shane is frightened.
Have you ever had a shameful nerd argument? Tell us about it!
Never put spoons in your lungs.
What are the songs you HAVE to sing along to? (Bridget’s is 14th Street. Shane’s is So Cruel.) What are the songs you HAVE to turn up? We want to know!
Download: Episode 67
Episode 66: Mega Snuggie VS Mircle Whip
by Bridget on Sep.22, 2009, under podcasts

Episode 66: We learned it from YOU, listeners! We learned it by watching YOU!
- Bridget calls shenanigans on this Miracle Whip commercial
- There was a snuggie fashion show. For reals!
- We can’t believe that somebody actually took the time to make Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus
- Psych is one of the funniest damn shows on TV. Go watch it here!
- Sween shows us all why jumping the shark should be awesome.
- Penny Nickels posted some videos that involve taste testing food bought at the asian food market. Try the Grass Jelly soda!
- Today’s cover art is courtesy of The Park Bench
Download: Episode 66
Episode 58: The Really Big Shew part 2
by Bridget on Jul.29, 2009, under podcasts

More anniversary/birthday goodness, headed your way.
Can you believe we made it a whole YEAR? Tony, Shane, and Bridget read your emails, listen to your messages, and play some of your favorite bits from the podcast. Join us on this trip down memory lane, won’t you? Thank you!
Thanks to all of our listeners, you guys are all swell. Your hair looks terrific!
Special thanks to:
Keri, who is always on the podcast – IN OUR HEARTS.
Amy and Bay at Grits to Glitz
Nessa at Stars and Tartan
Jamie aka Mr X Stitch
Rosemoo
Jodi
Shaebay
Chedderfish
High School Laura and her husband DJ
Custardfairy
Tara
Ben
Download: Episode 58
Episode 57: The Really Big Shew part 1
by Bridget on Jul.29, 2009, under podcasts

It’s here! It’s here! The really big shew! So big, we’re breaking it down into manageable, bite-sized pieces.
Can you believe we made it a whole YEAR? Tony, Shane, and Bridget read your emails, listen to your messages, and play some of your favorite bits from the podcast. Join us on this trip down memory lane, won’t you? Thank you!
Thanks to all of our listeners, you guys are all awesome. And you SMELL fantastic!
Special thanks to:
Keri, who is always on the podcast – IN OUR HEARTS.
Amy and Bay at Grits to Glitz
Nessa at Stars and Tartan
Jamie aka Mr X Stitch
Rosemoo
Jodi
Shaebay
Chedderfish
High School Laura and her husband DJ
Custardfairy
Tara
Ben
Download: Episode 57
Episode 44: Emergency Trousers the Third – Close Encounters of the 12 Inch Kind
by Bridget on May.03, 2009, under podcasts

Episode 44 of Emergency Pants is an Emergency Trousers edition! Bridget and Shane are joined by Friend of the Show Jamie: Bridget’s brother from a European mother, bad mother fucker, and former wonderboner.
- Sausages! Yum!
- Jamie makes some interesting fashion choices.
- We suck at compliments, part three.
- Getting angry at hairstyles.
- Special greetings from Jamie for some of our listeners – Eeeeeeee!
- Bad news: no new You Look Nice Today. Good news: Merlin Mann supplied awkward boners – hurrah!
- Mr X Stitch adds a new post – NSFW Saturdays!
- My First Dictionary – go there. Seriously.
- Bridget recounts the “box incident.” And no, not that kind of box, Shane. *sigh* See some of the crap that was in the box here and the itemized list of the crap here.
Download: Episode 44







