Emergency Pants

Episode 106: IT’S A KELLY AND JOE SHOW!

• Happy Birthday, Shane!
• Shane went to DC and met some of our awesome listeners
• We got the best email in the world
• Listener and kindred spirit Marshall took Furby pictures
• That fucking What Would You Do TV show
• Kelly recommends The Legend of Neil
• There was a lot of other stuff, but I was laughing too hard and I forgot it.

Download: Episode 106

Episode 97: Oh die schone, oh die schone, oh die schone SCHNITZELBANK!

• Rose sent is this link all about funny signs
• This place makes funky chocolates
• Bascom Hogue is awesome, as is Alissa
• Golden Girls vs. Golden Shower Girls
• We miss you, Grits to Glitz!
• Kung Pow: Enter the Fist and What’s Up, Tiger Lily? are hilarious
• Purple Rose of Cairo turns Bridget into a dumb girl

Episode 97

Episode 85 guest stars ROSE! Hi, Rose!

• We all love Red Dwarf and The Mighty Boosh
• Songsmith makes us grumpy
• Shane enjoys Curling. Who knew?
• We talk about Black Dynamite, Clue, and Rocky Horror Picture Show
• Axecop – written by a kid, drawn by an adult, made of awesome.
• Rose enjoys the Cheat Commandos on Homestarrunner
• Dexter!
• Happy birthday, Alissa!

Download: Episode 85

Episode 76: Tony! Toni! Tone!

• MST3K is on hulu!
• Hoarders. Also: Poop.
• Tony has an awkward moment that is made better through sharing with us. Awwww!
• Listeners Penny Nickels and Johnny Murder are in this video!
• Joe is cross stitching us pressies, is he still a tough guy? Yes. Yes he is.
• Bridget gets another lovely mention on PNSexplosion AND Noah says she’s cool!
• This cat likes peanut butter
• Ask Shane anything
• Game time! Twitter Mad Lib!
• What the kids today think of Santa

Download: Episode 76

Episode 63 – They’re telling secrets, honey.

• Keri sent us this awesome link to the techno version of the Slap Chop commercial! Watch it! You’re gonna love his nuts!
• Shae is awesome and has her own Youtube page! She talked about us in this video! CHECK IT OUT! WE KNOW HER!
• Thicknecked drunken douchebags are scary
• Clair called us out for making fun of the Welsh. Sorry Clair! (kinda)
• Porn candy wrappers and the hilarious response to them – thanks, Laura!
• Visit beautiful Fucking – or Wank. Whichever you’re into. Thanks to Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! for telling this story in a hilariously censored fashion!
• Don’t want to go to Fucking? Check out Rude Britian! We like Gropecunt Lane ourselves.
• Fricking hilarious, RIDICULOUSLY NSFW (naked lady ahead) blog post from PNSexplosion. READ THE TAGS, people. Srsly. Also, try the podcast!
• Tara made a Barking Spider suit for a little pooter!
• The Bugle is a funny podcast with dick jokes galore
• Go to Mr X Stitch to take part in all of our giveaway goodness!
• Bridget is wonderful! And a dork.

Download: Episode 63

Episode 59 – PANTS PARTY! Everybody’s in this one! Shane, Bridget, Tony and Jamie hang out in their fuzzy feetie pajamas and talk about boys. A very specific part of boys.

• Jamie made today’s cover art! Thanks Jamie! Unrelated: visit Photoshop Disasters
• Holy crap there is a Snuggie for dogs
• Moo and oink – just watch.
• We love Emails from Crazy People and Things That Look Like Cock N Balls
• Tony and Shane are obsessed with Obsessed
• Tony makes a friend at the gym
• One man one jar – DON’T LOOK FOR IT!
• Both Bridget’s brothers listen to the podcast. Hi Rob and Jim! Don’t tell Mom!

Download: Episode 59

Episode 53: Deal with it!

• Thanks to Sutrannu for sending the BBQ States Song, making some cool art and generally being awesome
• Johnny Murder did it AGAIN! This time in panties! Go watch Close Your Robe!
• Jamie provided these links which are hilarious
• Nimbuzz is having an emoticon contest, which got us thinking about what emoticons we could use. How about you?
• What gives, celebrities? We will miss Billy Mays the most, partially because of this video
• Welcome to the world, Tyra Banks, Miss J, Jay Manuel, and (my favorite) Janice Chickenson
• Hi to Jacinta and Alissa!

Don’t forget to leave us a voicemail on Skype – emergency-pants.net – or email us an mp3 with your favorite moment of the podcast so far for our big anniversary show! Or, if you’d rather, just send us an email at emergencypantspodcast@gmail.com. Heck, you could even just leave a comment letting us know! We’re easy!

Download: Episode 53

Epsiode 42 of Emergency Pants is the answer to life, the universe, and everything. And junk.

• Bridget is expendable! *sad trombone*
• Shane shares his experience being laid. Off.
• Bridget’s Lifetime Movie title: I Decide Who I Hug: Bridget’s Story
• Shane has great love and affection for old electronics. Weird!
• Bridget is an unwilling part in the greatest telemarketing training class scam in history
• Pitfall II, Shining Force, Ballz, and Toejam and Earl
• Why Bridget would never succeed as a sex line worker
• Hurrah for Sennheiser!
• Hurrah for Stars and Tartan saying strokeface, which Bridget can’t stop laughing at!

Download: What Is Six Times Seven?

Episode 32 of Emergency Pants brings the euphemism contest to a close. We can’t tell you how much fun this was for us, mostly because we are still laughing. Thanks to all of our awesome listeners who participated!

• A winner is chosen! Who will it be? It’s a mystery! Unless you look at the title of this episode, that is.
• Amy from Grits to Glitz and listeners Lia and Lukas throw their euphemisms in the ring. Thanks, guys!
• Alissa LISTENED! Hi, Alissa!
• Bridget is accused of conducting outbound phone sex
• Jim is filled with awesome and win
• Twitter incidents
• Bridget realizes that she is a clown, and that she is perfectly okay with that.

Bridget is now doing regular posts at MrXStitch’s blog! (That’s Jamie, people!) Drop by and show your support – or not. We don’t want to pressure you, baby. Why don’t we just sit here with the lights off and watch 9 and 1/2 Weeks instead?

Wow, your hair smells great. *sniff*

Download: Episode 32

Episode 31 is just FULL of stuff! AND junk!

• Euphemism contest entries – you guys are dirty, and we love it! Thanks to: Nessa, Kelley, Tony, Sid, Laura, Tina, Bay and Jamie!
• Shane’s new website!
• Bridget’s domestic success!
• Listener Sid posts a link that makes Bridget cry (in the good way)
• We finally say hi to Alissa! Hi, Alissa!
• Shane makes Kelley and Alissa uncomfortable, I’m sure. Sorry, ladies!
• Bridget is a katamari for IT guys!

Next week brings the exciting conclusion of the euphemism contest. Thanks to all who participated! Sorry you missed your chance? Do you keen and pull at your hair while wailing into the night: “Why, WHY didn’t I send in an entry? WHY???” That’s ok, baby – just email us by Saturday and it’s all good.

Download: Episode 31