Emergency Pants

Episode 99:

• Shane’s got a bed! A new one, we mean.
• We like Cyanide and Happiness!
• The high fructose corn syrup people think we’re stupid. JERKS!
• The Face Trainer is ridiculous. Watch the third video down. TRUST ME. Then, go add a photo of yourself making silly faces to this flickr group! Please?
• Will YOU be America’s Next Top Bridget’s Mom?
• Penny is doing awesome self portraits!

Download: Episode 99

Episode 86 is an Emergency Trousers episode as we have Jamie joining us from across the pond! And junk!

• Penny and Johnny take on chat roulette in their awesome new tumblr – also, thanks to Penny for Coke Talk!
• One of the fellows behind Look Around You is behind the Time Waster podcast – so good!
• Rose made an awesome awesome monkey video – check it out!
• Go play Sushi Cat. Like, right now.
• LOOK AT THIS SHIRT. LOOK AT IT!
• Hi to The Fey Driver!
• Thanks to Amy and Bay from Grits to Glitz for thinking of us while on vacation and for providing today’s cover art!

Download: Episode 86

Episode 81: But I digress.

• Ben, as Bay would say, is full of win. Witness this here and here.
• We actually like the “Too Light, Too Heavy” commercials – especially this one!
• Omaha is going to be under a lot of ice! It’ll look like this.
• Hello to Cheryl and The Fey Driver! The Fey Driver has a podcast called Pink Wheel Nuts. How awesome is that? Answer: Very.
• We discuss upcoming movies like Hot Tub Time Machine, MacGruber, and Black Dynamite.
• We discuss our favorite nutballs, the timecube guy and Jack Chick.
• Do you want to be a Line Cock?

You know you want to Episode 81. Don’t even pretend you don’t.

Episode 70: You know. That one. With the thingie. And stuff. You KNOW.

• Shane has trombone legs after a strenuous workout at the gym. DAMN YOU, LINDSEY! *shakes fist at sky*
• Send us stuff with You Send It! Or don’t. It’s cool. We don’t want to pressure you, baby.
• Yay for DJ Yoda! Especially this!
• Yay for DJ Mike Relm too!
• Rose sent us a link to these Star Wars dog costumes. Discuss.
• Shane’s cat Maus is special like this cat except even more awesome!

Download: Episode 70

Episode 69: Tonight’s episode was recorded at Schropshire Lodge, Near Wallingham, Blethington, West Hamptishiretinfinlinton, just past the three bagpipers, Scotland.

• Doctor’s waiting rooms often lead to hilarity
• Shane got a shake weight!
• I wouldn’t say no to a crepe, but what I REALLY need is a spanking.
• The Consumerist is required reading
• Jim is shirtless and smeared with peanut butter, but it’s not what you think!
• The Scottish Poet McTeagle – steroetypes are fun!
• And because it’s episode 69… here.

Download: Episode 69

Episode 67: You like that, huh?

Bridget is fulfilling her responsibility as an American citizen by participating in the judicial process. And junk.
We love God Hates Protesters
Bridget loves Christopher Uminga. Shane is frightened.
Have you ever had a shameful nerd argument? Tell us about it!
Never put spoons in your lungs.
What are the songs you HAVE to sing along to? (Bridget’s is 14th Street. Shane’s is So Cruel.) What are the songs you HAVE to turn up? We want to know!

Download: Episode 67

Episode 59 – PANTS PARTY! Everybody’s in this one! Shane, Bridget, Tony and Jamie hang out in their fuzzy feetie pajamas and talk about boys. A very specific part of boys.

• Jamie made today’s cover art! Thanks Jamie! Unrelated: visit Photoshop Disasters
• Holy crap there is a Snuggie for dogs
• Moo and oink – just watch.
• We love Emails from Crazy People and Things That Look Like Cock N Balls
• Tony and Shane are obsessed with Obsessed
• Tony makes a friend at the gym
• One man one jar – DON’T LOOK FOR IT!
• Both Bridget’s brothers listen to the podcast. Hi Rob and Jim! Don’t tell Mom!

Download: Episode 59

It’s the second international edition of Emergency Pants! Bridget’s brother from a European mother and Friend of the Show Jamie joins us via the interwebs. Topics covered:

• Jamie’s past life as a wonder boner
• Tonight’s vocabulary word is felching
• Shane has 5 computers!!!
• HR secret codes
• Listener love! Thanks to Cheryl and iTunes 5 star reviewer!
• What if the grab-ass couple were hot?
• Jamie recites some touching urban poetry, reducing Bridget to tears

Check out this Snuggie parody brought to our attention by listener Cheryl!

Review us on iTunes – or not. It’s cool. We don’t want to pressure you, baby. We could just cuddle in our underwear.

Download: Episode 29