Emergency Pants

Episode 102 has negatively effected our lives in the following ways:

• We say air hair lair to Clair and David
• We discuss Shane’s bed
• Shout out to RJ and Chris at Cup of Fresh Hell
• Shae is reading bad books
• Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows is awesome
• Bridget and the security guard at work
• Use the Bureau of Communication for all of your apology needs
• Ruby42‘s cross stitch is purchased by Kat Von D and we worry that it might need an intervention

Download: Episode 102

KAT VON D CALL ME!

Episode 88: Oh my God, you guys! It’s Kelly & Joe! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

• Joe is like catnip for old ladies and Sanitation Technicians
• Kelly discusses her baby hotel
• The Cafeteria Files
• Funny SNL commercials!
• Hi, yhf!
• Lots of other stuff, I dunno, I can’t remember everything, I’M SORRY! *sob*

Download: Episode 88

Episode 86 is an Emergency Trousers episode as we have Jamie joining us from across the pond! And junk!

• Penny and Johnny take on chat roulette in their awesome new tumblr – also, thanks to Penny for Coke Talk!
• One of the fellows behind Look Around You is behind the Time Waster podcast – so good!
• Rose made an awesome awesome monkey video – check it out!
• Go play Sushi Cat. Like, right now.
• LOOK AT THIS SHIRT. LOOK AT IT!
• Hi to The Fey Driver!
• Thanks to Amy and Bay from Grits to Glitz for thinking of us while on vacation and for providing today’s cover art!

Download: Episode 86

Episode 81: But I digress.

• Ben, as Bay would say, is full of win. Witness this here and here.
• We actually like the “Too Light, Too Heavy” commercials – especially this one!
• Omaha is going to be under a lot of ice! It’ll look like this.
• Hello to Cheryl and The Fey Driver! The Fey Driver has a podcast called Pink Wheel Nuts. How awesome is that? Answer: Very.
• We discuss upcoming movies like Hot Tub Time Machine, MacGruber, and Black Dynamite.
• We discuss our favorite nutballs, the timecube guy and Jack Chick.
• Do you want to be a Line Cock?

You know you want to Episode 81. Don’t even pretend you don’t.

Episode 66: We learned it from YOU, listeners! We learned it by watching YOU!

• Bridget calls shenanigans on this Miracle Whip commercial
• There was a snuggie fashion show. For reals!
• We can’t believe that somebody actually took the time to make Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus
• Psych is one of the funniest damn shows on TV. Go watch it here!
• Sween shows us all why jumping the shark should be awesome.
• Penny Nickels posted some videos that involve taste testing food bought at the asian food market. Try the Grass Jelly soda!
• Today’s cover art is courtesy of The Park Bench

Download: Episode 66

Episode 47 of Emergency Pants finds our heroes picking up the pieces after and angry confrontation. Or not. Probably not.

• Bridget is snotty. Snooty? Snotty.
• We’re funny!
• Awkward Family Photos – thanks Liz!
• Shane has an awesome thing happen
• Bridget’s Mom is stalking Friend of the Show Jamie – except we actually tell the story this time
• Midwestern greeting cards
• Bridget’s not so excellent transit adventure
• Tighten Up! We’re gonna make it mellow for you by telling you to go watch this video.

Download: Episode 47

Episode 32 of Emergency Pants brings the euphemism contest to a close. We can’t tell you how much fun this was for us, mostly because we are still laughing. Thanks to all of our awesome listeners who participated!

• A winner is chosen! Who will it be? It’s a mystery! Unless you look at the title of this episode, that is.
• Amy from Grits to Glitz and listeners Lia and Lukas throw their euphemisms in the ring. Thanks, guys!
• Alissa LISTENED! Hi, Alissa!
• Bridget is accused of conducting outbound phone sex
• Jim is filled with awesome and win
• Twitter incidents
• Bridget realizes that she is a clown, and that she is perfectly okay with that.

Bridget is now doing regular posts at MrXStitch’s blog! (That’s Jamie, people!) Drop by and show your support – or not. We don’t want to pressure you, baby. Why don’t we just sit here with the lights off and watch 9 and 1/2 Weeks instead?

Wow, your hair smells great. *sniff*

Download: Episode 32

Episode 31 is just FULL of stuff! AND junk!

• Euphemism contest entries – you guys are dirty, and we love it! Thanks to: Nessa, Kelley, Tony, Sid, Laura, Tina, Bay and Jamie!
• Shane’s new website!
• Bridget’s domestic success!
• Listener Sid posts a link that makes Bridget cry (in the good way)
• We finally say hi to Alissa! Hi, Alissa!
• Shane makes Kelley and Alissa uncomfortable, I’m sure. Sorry, ladies!
• Bridget is a katamari for IT guys!

Next week brings the exciting conclusion of the euphemism contest. Thanks to all who participated! Sorry you missed your chance? Do you keen and pull at your hair while wailing into the night: “Why, WHY didn’t I send in an entry? WHY???” That’s ok, baby – just email us by Saturday and it’s all good.

Download: Episode 31

It’s the second international edition of Emergency Pants! Bridget’s brother from a European mother and Friend of the Show Jamie joins us via the interwebs. Topics covered:

• Jamie’s past life as a wonder boner
• Tonight’s vocabulary word is felching
• Shane has 5 computers!!!
• HR secret codes
• Listener love! Thanks to Cheryl and iTunes 5 star reviewer!
• What if the grab-ass couple were hot?
• Jamie recites some touching urban poetry, reducing Bridget to tears

Check out this Snuggie parody brought to our attention by listener Cheryl!

Review us on iTunes – or not. It’s cool. We don’t want to pressure you, baby. We could just cuddle in our underwear.

Download: Episode 29