Episode 32: Lady Marma-slot
by Bridget on Feb.17, 2009, under podcasts
Episode 32 of Emergency Pants brings the euphemism contest to a close. We can’t tell you how much fun this was for us, mostly because we are still laughing. Thanks to all of our awesome listeners who participated!
- A winner is chosen! Who will it be? It’s a mystery! Unless you look at the title of this episode, that is.
- Amy from Grits to Glitz and listeners Lia and Lukas throw their euphemisms in the ring. Thanks, guys!
- Alissa LISTENED! Hi, Alissa!
- Bridget is accused of conducting outbound phone sex
- Jim is filled with awesome and win
- Twitter incidents
- Bridget realizes that she is a clown, and that she is perfectly okay with that.
Bridget is now doing regular posts at MrXStitch’s blog! (That’s Jamie, people!) Drop by and show your support – or not. We don’t want to pressure you, baby. Why don’t we just sit here with the lights off and watch 9 and 1/2 Weeks instead?
Wow, your hair smells great. *sniff*
Download: Episode 32
February 18th, 2009 on 10:24 am
*** GASP ***
NO WAY !!!!!
Are you serious ? I do not believe it – I never win ! Thank you thank you
I’m making lots of loud happy girl noises right now <3
February 18th, 2009 on 12:10 pm
*fans self*
February 18th, 2009 on 12:21 pm
For once, I am totally serious.
So now the decision is yours, Kelley – if you would like me to stitch this onto fabric, slap it in a frame and send it to you, email us. If not, I will understand, since I have seen the classiness that is your house on your blog.
February 19th, 2009 on 1:10 pm
Kelley, she could come round to your house and tattoo straight on to you if you ask nicely.
Bridget is capable of such things…
February 19th, 2009 on 1:35 pm
Thanks Jamie.
Unless there are evenly spaced spots on Kelley’s skin, I do not trust myself to tattoo her. Perhaps I can draw up the design and my boyfriend Darren Brass can ink her:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/benjb75/41758355/
(Don’t tell Jim.)
February 19th, 2009 on 3:02 pm
What a strange coincidence… I’ve been seen around the town with Kat Von D..!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ginamarr/1921458382/
(Don’t tell Alissa)
February 19th, 2009 on 3:13 pm
Jamie, you have good taste. I, too, would bang Kat like a screen-door in a hurricane.
February 19th, 2009 on 3:25 pm
She’s cute and all, but I bet kissing her would taste like licking a dirty ashtray that recently held three-day-old crab rangoon in a puddle of soy sauce.
February 20th, 2009 on 8:10 pm
RIGGED! RIGGED!
February 21st, 2009 on 5:57 am
You cut me, Nessa. You cut me deep. *sob*
February 23rd, 2009 on 1:25 pm
So, I have been meaning to download the podcasts for awhile and I finally just went ahead and did it after more badgering from Jamie. I’ve been listening to older episodes while working (re-texturing plaster last week) and what I’m most stuck by is that Shane kinda still believed in Santa at age 14. I even backed it up so I could be sure that he said something like “around age 14.” Is that a Midwest thing or is Shane just a late bloomer or what?
February 23rd, 2009 on 1:26 pm
I’m sorry, I meant “most struck by” not “most stuck by”, although that is not necessarily inaccurate.
February 23rd, 2009 on 2:08 pm
Hey Tara! Nice to see you over on the EP side of the street. Don’t let Jamie badger you, though – we don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do, baby.
It’s funny that you mention that, because I have been wondering about it, too. Sometimes it’s hard to hear everything on Skype and I missed Shane mentioning his age while we were recording. Then when I heard it later I was surprised to hear 14. My Santa incident happened when I was about 6, maybe, so it’s not a Midwest thing.
Hey, Shane? What’s up with that?
February 23rd, 2009 on 3:52 pm
Hang on. Is Santa not real or something?
Don’t be silly.
February 23rd, 2009 on 7:18 pm
I’m over being a bitter loser, congrats Kelley!
February 23rd, 2009 on 8:17 pm
Sounds like maybe the boyfolk are a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to right jolly old elves. Although it was a certain boy named Jesse Davis who blew the lid off the whole thing for a large chunk of Mrs. (holy hell, I can’t believe I forgot her name)’s second grade class the last day of school before holiday break.
February 23rd, 2009 on 8:29 pm
It’s because they don’t get as much blood flow to the brain as it is so often re-directed elsewhere. And thank goodness, or they wouldn’t be good for very much, would they?
February 24th, 2009 on 4:43 am
Look, we’ve just got strengths in other areas, that’s all.
Like opening jars for instance.
February 24th, 2009 on 8:12 am
Thanks Nessa . After I get bored cyber stalking Bridget and Shane , I’ll be moving on to you. Me thinks you are totally awesome.
February 24th, 2009 on 1:43 pm
I’m so glad you two are getting along, Kelley and Nessa! Kelley’s an awesome cyber stalker, Nessa, you’re geting a quality addtion to your already overflowing ranks of stalkers.
Jamie: Even women with poor arm strength such as myself can find the tools necessary to open a pesky jar. We keep you guys around for one simple reason – to reach things on the top shelf at the grocery store.
Oh, and then there’s the penis. Those are good, too.
February 24th, 2009 on 3:07 pm
So until such time as they create a six foot tall penis with the ability to grab things, we’re safe right..?
February 24th, 2009 on 3:18 pm
I notice Shane doesn’t have much to say about his 14 years of believing in Santa. Is there a chance that he’s still holding on?
Boys are also good for lifting heavy things, keeping other boys from bothering us and sweating.
February 24th, 2009 on 3:45 pm
Wow, that’s a thought… How would it get around? I’m imaginging this kind of horrifying shuffle…
But to answer your question, Jamie, I have no use for a six foot tall penis. Unless it has it’s own more reasonably sized penis. This is real life, not hentai. Or a Beastie Boys concert circa 1986.
Tara – Shane is under the weather and also working quite a bit. No worries, I’ll be busting his chops about it and demanding an answer. It’s… it’s what I _do_.
February 24th, 2009 on 4:53 pm
Yeah, I’m with Bridget on the giant phallus; a 6 foot dick is only good as a doorman/bouncer. And a penis that grabs stuff is nightmare-ish! I’m seeing that sand worm thing from “Tremors”…
I’m sorry that Shane is feeling poorly. Something HORRIBLE is going around Portland and I’m using all the superstitions, Emergen-C and zinc I can to make sure I don’t get it and take it to Argentina.
February 24th, 2009 on 9:46 pm
Also, this is AWESOME:
February 24th, 2009 on 8:53 pm
YES, I KNEW THERE WAS NO SUCH THING AS SANTA BEFORE 14 SO JUST SHUT UP!
GOSH!
February 25th, 2009 on 1:29 pm
And we’ll sell you pictures for a very reasonable price. In Euros.
February 25th, 2009 on 7:42 pm
um, I follow Santa on twitter so he has to be real!
Kelley! Stalk me darling! i have a nice area out front for a tent